Is it strange that I'm having culture shock in my own homeland? How is this possible? The moment I get off the plane, I'm in the immigration lane and some chick comes up to me and asks me if I have an American visa. "I'm a citizen you moron. I think that's what this blue square thing means. And which is why I'm in this lane. You guys shouting nonstop "ONLY U.S citizens and Canadians IN LANE 3&4" was heard loud and clear, oh i dunno the first 5 times in the first minute I got here." Racial profiling still sucks and its still annoying as shit. Sure, she was just trying to be efficient, making sure we're in the right lane and I know she had no mal intent but it still feels...you know... weird. Its just different.
Seoul felt like I was becoming an ant, and scurrying in the ant colony. First, because Koreans have black hair and black eyeballs, so it felt like I was amongst ant people but also because they really do scurry. Taking the subway is like being in a mosh-pit. Mosh-pit in an ant colony. So in this world of ants, I first became confused and then strangely, being an ant with other fellow ants felt comforting. The hard part was trying to find my dad. He blends in too well and if I wasn't also Korean and by nature good at scurrying, i would have lost sight of him many times.
Being Korean means you have to sacrifice a lot. You have to sacrifice the happiness of your feet, your face that you were born with, your seat on the bus or subway for the elderly, your liver, your lungs, originality in every sense. But goddamn, Koreans know how to be polite. No sorry, perhaps polite is not the right word. Japanese people are polite. Koreans are good at being entrepreneurs and elitists. Yeah you sacrifice a lot, Yet, why do I feel so out of place here? I'm not the only yellow face here at seatac airport. There are many colored faces here, yet I can't help feeling out of place. Uncomfortable, like I have to try even harder to be "American" to prove that I am one. Speak with a more distinct white accent. Drink my Starbucks coffee get my ipod on, and type furiously on my mac.
Don't get me wrong. In no sense are Koreans "nice". They are blunt and got this hot boiling blood running through their veins. Give em some alcohol and watch them morph red into belligerent monsters. Its a dog eat dog world they live in, but what can I say? I am one. That very blood runs through my veins. And so, there is something to be said for blending in naturally. A world catered for you. Sizes that are made for you, food catered to taste good for you, hospitality and customer service catered for your Korean needs and habits. Warm hand towels before every meal, a family mart on every corner ...flight attendants that are bending over backwards to ensure your good.
Just sayin. Sometimes being an ant isn't so bad.
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